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I am not broken.

-Am I on the clock? She whispered from the edge of the bed. They had left her with fear. --No. We responded. -How long do I have to push? She looked up into my eyes. They left her with doubt. --As long as you need. I smiled back at her not breaking eye contact so she knew I meant it.

She sunk into another wave.

My heart.

They used all the scary words before, and she did everything they said.

This time when they said what if, what if, what if, blood pressure, BMI, VBAC, what if, what if, what if, over due, big baby, whatever you can think of....

She took a breath and walked away.

And she poured herself into everything she could to make a new story for this baby. Eight weeks and

one long night later and here we were. Finish line. Further than she's ever been. Breathing through like a seasoned birth pro, ready to push any second....And racing through her head were all the protocols of a system which had left her feeling broken.

-There's really no clock? She asked straight forward. You don't have a timeline??! --No...YOU don't have a timeline my friend.

And just about with that she put her foot up on the edge of the bed. And she roared out her 9#11oz Home Birth After Cesarean son instantly and forever adding baby-born-here-magic to the family home.

HBAC mama, may you always feel your strength as a mother and as a woman, the way you did today my friend. I pray you never ever feel like you have to ask anyone permission to birth your God given child from your body how you feel made and called to do. It was an absolute honor watching you transform.

Happiest Birthday little brother! You have no idea how special you are...just how significant your birth is.

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